JD Vance’s early life was marked by a significant trauma. His parents divorced, his father disappeared for years, and his mother, struggling with addiction, was unable to care for him. As a result, JD’s grandmother, his beloved “Maw Maw,” stepped in to raise him. These experiences left a deep emotional scar, one that is evident in his memoir Hillbilly Elegy and, more recently, in his approach as a Republican candidate for Vice-President.

Trauma, by definition, is a deeply disturbing experience that can reshape the brain, distorting memories and cognitive functions. Often, it leads people to reconstruct past events through a lens of nostalgia or idealization, replacing harsh realities with comforting myths. JD’s trauma gave birth to what I’ll call the “Maw Maw Myth”—the belief that when parents fall short, a loving grandparent can step in to save the day. In JD’s case, it was his grandmother who took on this role, and now, he’s trying to turn this personal myth into a national policy.

The Comforting Myth of Maw Maw: In times of family crisis, it’s reassuring to think there’s someone out there who will always be there for us and our children. And for JD, that someone was his grandmother. According to this myth, when families are torn apart, Maw Maw can hold everything together. She’s not only a loving caregiver but also a safeguard against an uncaring childcare system—one that might expose children to different political views, beliefs, or even ideas that parents disapprove of. In JD’s mind, Maw Maw is the antidote to modern societal woes, and her model of caregiving could save America.

However, JD’s view of family structures and childcare is rooted in an era that no longer exists. Assumptions about the roles grandparents can play are outdated if grandparents ever truly behaved like JD’s idealized past.

Childcare Economics – A Booming Industry: Childcare is a massive industry in America. Depending on how it’s measured… through early care, daycare, or full-day care… childcare costs the U.S. between $100 and $400 billion annually. The idea that Maw Maw can simply step in and replace this complex system is both impractical and unrealistic.

The logistics of moving from a professional childcare model to a grandparent-based one are daunting. Can we even find the millions of grandparents needed for this model?

Demise of Multi-Generational Homes: In JD’s grandmother’s day, multi-generational homes were common. Families lived together for decades, with children growing up, going to school, getting married, and raising their own children under the same roof. But after World War II, that model began to fade. The nuclear family became the norm, and with it, families were dispersed across cities, suburbs, and states.

Today, families are more mobile than ever. Children leave home for college, then move again to pursue careers. After several moves, coupled with divorces, remarriages, and blended families, grandparents and grandchildren often find themselves living far apart. Even for those who want to be more involved in their grandchildren’s lives, distance makes regular caregiving impossible. The idea that Maw Maw can be a full-time childcare provider for today’s families just doesn’t fit the reality of modern life.

Availability Problems: Let’s imagine that your parents live nearby. Are they available to care for your children? Proximity is one challenge and timing is another. Today, more seniors are working well past the traditional retirement age, either because they want to stay active or because they must work to make ends meet. Politicians such as Donald Trump have advocated for raising the full retirement age to 70. Maw Maw may not have the time or energy to become a full-time babysitter, even if she’s close by.

Health & Competition for Care: Even if your grandparents live nearby and have retired, what’s their health like? One out of nine seniors suffers from dementia, and many others deal with physical disabilities as they age. Vision, hearing, and mobility problems are common. Nearly half of Americans over the age of 75 have one or more disabilities. Taking care of a single person (such as a spouse) with a severe disability may require full-time attention, leaving little bandwidth for grandchildren. Maw Maw may even be caring for other family members, like older siblings. The demand for her time and energy is often overwhelming.

The Maw Maw Shortage: In the rare case that your grandparents are healthy, financially stable, not working, and happen to live nearby, you may have won the childcare lottery! Unfortunately, for the vast majority of American families, this is far from reality. Most will need to look elsewhere to meet their childcare needs, and for them, the “Maw Maw Myth” offers little in the way of real solutions.

Conclusion – Separating Myth from Reality: JD Vance’s personal trauma led him to idealize his grandmother’s role in his life. We, however, must separate this comforting myth from the realities most families face today. The notion that most grandparents can simply step in to solve America’s childcare crisis is not only outdated but completely unattainable for most.

What about you? Have you discussed childcare with your parents or grandparents? Were they able to help? Let us know how it went and if the Maw Maw Myth is working for you! Could they help you? Let us know how it went and if this arrangement worked!